Warning, some of these jokes are not particularly nice, you’ve been warned.
Dead Baby Joke 01
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn’t harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
Dead Baby Joke 02
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can’t fuck a table.
Dead Baby Joke 03
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Dead Baby Joke 04
What’s the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree? One is legal to hit with an axe.
Dead Baby Joke 05
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Dead Baby Joke 06
What’s the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? I don’t kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Dead Baby Joke 07
What’s the difference between a lamp and a dead baby? It’s really easy to turn on a lamp.
Dead Baby Joke 08
What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Dead Baby Joke 09
What’s the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby? A watermelon floats.
Dead Baby Joke 10
What’s the safest way to play with a baby ? With a condom.
Dead Baby Joke 11
What’s the worst thing about fucking a dead baby? Wiping the blood stains off of your clown suit!
Dead Baby Joke 12
What’s white and bobs up and down in a baby’s crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
Dead Baby Joke 13
What’s white and red and hangs from a telephone wire? A baby shot through a snow blower.
Dead Baby Joke 14
What’s worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid? A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
Dead Baby Joke 15
What’s worse than a having sex with a dead baby? Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Dead Baby Joke 16
What’s worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.
Dead Baby Joke 17
What’s worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Dead Baby Joke 18
What’s worse than smoking pot with a baby? Making a bong out of it
Dead Baby Joke 19
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed? When it starts talking to you again.
Dead Baby Joke 20
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they’re hand made.
Dead Baby Joke 21
Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.
Dead Baby Joke 22
Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because it had no arms or legs.
Dead Baby Joke 23
Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because he was dead!
Dead Baby Joke 24
Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was chained to a bumper
Dead Baby Joke 25
Why did the toddler drop it’s lollipop? It was hit by a truck.
Dead Baby Joke 26
Why didn’t they crucify baby Jesus? I don’t know why they didn’t either.
Dead Baby Joke 27
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
Dead Baby Joke 28
Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first ? To see the expression on it face!
Dead Baby Joke 29
Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face!
Dead Baby Joke 30
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? So you can tell which ones are still alive.
Dead Baby Joke 31
Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a still birth, soup.
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69 responses to Dead Baby Jokes
What do you call a dead baby with no arms or legs in a swimming pool?
BOB!
What is the worst thing about having sex with a 2yr old?
Hearing the pelvis snap.
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender.
How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips.
What is pink and red and sits in the corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.
What is green and sits in the corner?
Same baby six weeks later…
I’m female and don’t take offence, I actually love dead baby jokes SO if YOU don’t like ‘em, don’t read ‘em. The same goes for any type of joke or opinion, someone will always piss you off, get over it.
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3 (0)
Dead Baby Jokes
WoW.................
U may say that if i didt wanna see then dont look but i didt think baby jokes would be this bad… JUst thou it would be about how they cry or something… Idk how ANYONE could laugh, think its funny, cool, and sweet… It TOTAl fucking WRONG!!!! Whoever on here said something good about any of these jokes, i reall really really hope u never go around babys… Ur fucked up in da heads…. POOR BABYS!!!!
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2 (+4)
Dead Baby Jokes
Ur stupid 2, it says DEAD baby jokes. I find these very funny and I’m glad u think I’m sick, I am. Death is funny if u let it b. And before u say I don’t know about death trust me I do. I’ve lost many ppl in my life and joking makes it better, ever hear of the healing power of laughter. O and next time u comment on something learn how the caps lock or shift key works, moron.
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2 (-1)
Mhm,
The only reason life has meaning is beacause it ends. you cant apprietiate somthing if you cant laugh at it, and if you cant laugh then it has no meaning. life and death = greatest miracles/ jokes. right on-
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It says dead baby jokes not crying baby jokes! U must be illiterate and stupid at the same time.
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made it myself
ya know wats funny? a dead hooker.
ya know wats funnier than a dead hooker? a dead hooker carrying a dead baby.
ya know wats funnier than a dead hooker carrying a dead baby? a guy having sex with a dead hooker carrying a dead baby.
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7 (-6)
ur an idiot and that shit wasnt even funny
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0 (+6)
yo
What do u call a dead baby. Not mine officer
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1 (+2)
What’s dark gold and doesn’t cry any more?
baby with Addison’s disease
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2 (-2)
INSANE!
YOU ARE ALL INSANE GUYS!
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1 (+1)
How did the dead baby cross the road?
He was stapled to a chicken.
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What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mustang?
I don’t have a mustang in my garage.
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