Warning, some of these jokes are not particularly nice, you’ve been warned.
Dead Baby Joke 01
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn’t harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
Dead Baby Joke 02
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can’t fuck a table.
Dead Baby Joke 03
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Dead Baby Joke 04
What’s the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree?
One is legal to hit with an axe.
Dead Baby Joke 05
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Dead Baby Joke 06
What’s the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
I don’t kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Dead Baby Joke 07
What’s the difference between a lamp and a dead baby?
It’s really easy to turn on a lamp.
Dead Baby Joke 08
What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Dead Baby Joke 09
What’s the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby?
A watermelon floats.
Dead Baby Joke 10
What’s the safest way to play with a baby ?
With a condom.
Dead Baby Joke 11
What’s the worst thing about fucking a dead baby?
Wiping the blood stains off of your clown suit!
Dead Baby Joke 12
What’s white and bobs up and down in a baby’s crib ?
A Pedophiles ass.
Dead Baby Joke 13
What’s white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A baby shot through a snow blower.
Dead Baby Joke 14
What’s worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
Dead Baby Joke 15
What’s worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Dead Baby Joke 16
What’s worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can?
Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.
Dead Baby Joke 17
What’s worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Dead Baby Joke 18
What’s worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it
Dead Baby Joke 19
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again.
Dead Baby Joke 20
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they’re hand made.
Dead Baby Joke 21
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
Dead Baby Joke 22
Why did the baby fall off the swing?
Because it had no arms or legs.
Dead Baby Joke 23
Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead!
Dead Baby Joke 24
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper
Dead Baby Joke 25
Why did the toddler drop it’s lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.
Dead Baby Joke 26
Why didn’t they crucify baby Jesus?
I don’t know why they didn’t either.
Dead Baby Joke 27
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time
Dead Baby Joke 28
Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first?
To see the expression on it’s face!
Dead Baby Joke 29
What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
Dead Baby Joke 30
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
Dead Baby Joke 31
Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a still birth, soup.
More Dead Baby Jokes
112 responses to Funny Dead Baby Jokes
These jokes are NOT FUCKING FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you think that these jokes are funny, you are one suck son of a bitch! Dead babies? Come on! Who the fuck writes jokes about dead babies? I have a cousin about 9 or 10 years ago who died because of collapsed lungs and his mother was no good after that for a while. The writers of this shit are going to burn in hell for this shit and the sick motherfukers who thinks this shit is fucking funny(Sick bastards).
Dead Baby Jokes
Lol’d so hard
hoe dont get the ignorant slapped out yo ass this shis aint funny now wat if yo baby died u stupid cunt bych u no wat go suck a dick and die u stupid retard ass bych and who eva madt dis page is jus pittiful and ridiculus i hope u burn in hell u lil dirty dick ass bum u cuz dis ish is not funny at all
I don’t know about you but these were pretty stupid and what Obama vs. Bush said was funnier than the jokes. I mean I obviosly you know I’m white because I don’t spell any words in my article in slang or in the texting form. Plus I don’t feel the need to swear every couple of words.
Haha, im 1 of those sick bastards who like dead baby jokes, if you dont like them, y r u looking em up?! stay the hell off this shit if it offends u so mutch!!!
*much
lol
lol wats worse then spinning a baby on a revolving closeline? stoping it with a shovel
I hope u get raped by a a fuckin truck u sick mother fucker u need to die and burn in hell
Your DISGUSTING go to fucking hell your a PIG!!! rot in hell rapist bitch
really?
you know we look them up just hoping maybe our comments will change the minds of u sick ass people!!!
So a woman who just gave birth is sitting in the recovery room waiting to see her newborn. The doctor finally walks in holding the baby by it’s ankles. The doctor proceeds to swing it around, hit its head on the table, and kick it down the hallway. The mother yells at the doctor, “What are you doing?!?!” The doctor replies, “April fools, it was already dead.”
Crib Kill...Finally an original
What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection.
ok well dead baby jokes are funny bc well babys are fun to fuck with hahahahhaahah and since u said we are going to go to hell lemme tell u this i dnt believe in god heaven or hell so u can go suck a dead baby…..and since u swore ur going to go to ur hell for sinning u stupid cunt. go fuck ur dead cuzin and whille ure at ur cuzins mom she must b in need of sum good fucking. so peace bitch if u wanna bitch at me call me 812 584 8987
Dead Baby Jokes
Well Mr. Bob I really hope your pedophile ass ends up in prison where it belongs. I’m actually pretty sure you’d even like to act out these sick jokes you twisted fuck. I bet your just some 14-year-old wanna-be badass that can’t get any action so you just sit in your parents’ bedroom fapping (that’s another word for masturbating if you don’t fucking understand, you little prick) to dead baby jokes. Good luck getting an education in prison while getting skull-fucked by an inmate named Bubbles, if your lucky you just might remember your name or even one of these fucking sick jokes you like so much. Go eat a sack of those baby dicks you apparently like so much and take a picture of yourself doing it if your so fucking proud of being a fan of these sick jokes. I’ll be laughing when you die from getting fucked in the brain by your inmate boyfriend. He told me how pretty he thought you were, and he asked me for your number. I told him it was on this web page. Don’t worry though, he’ll eventually find you. Now go to hell, you immature little shit, good luck getting laid with that baby fetish of yours.
Dead Baby Jokes
You know what i hate…. the people that comment “oohh this is wrong”, “i hope you all go to hell”, “wow this shit is sick”
well if you dont like it then why are you looking up dead baby jokes in the first place… are you just trying to be douches to the people that try to have a laugh once in a while?
what is your problem!
But yes you are right 4SW
to mr bob
u say u dont believe in god or anythingg but then u tell him that he is gonna burn in HELL for SINNINGG hmm sounds to me like u know!!!! god bless you!
stop being a little bitch
ummmm just saying theres no such thing as hell and a lot of these are fuckin funny
There is a GOD, and one day, you will have to face him.
mmm dead babys
i like to fuck dead babys i cut them open fil them with puke and diarrhea and them sew them i fuck them thencook and eat the little motherfuckers
u are sick im fucked in the head i laugh when old people fall the stairs but u u take sick sun of a bitch your worse then lady gaga
thess are fucking sick and i diddnt even read them! whoever put these on are sick in the fucking hed and need hung you mother fucking bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i totally agreee! fckin sick
hahaha these r great lol im sorry dead baby jokes are funny lol and always have been i remember my first dead baby joke …..
how many dead babies does it take to paint a house?
depends on how hard you throw em
That joke was fucking halarious I had an amazing laugh
dude the joke “how many dead babies does it take to paint a house…depends on how hard you throw them” was the 1st i ever heard aswell!!! :[) epic fucking funneh shit and these little pussy ass niglet bitch mother fuckers who are trollin need to suck my fucking nuts or get a sense of fucking humor fat ass niglets prolly cant even get out of their chairs to go outside instead they just troll on our humor…fuck that its called freedom of speech and i have fought for that right so go suck a big black nigger dick you nigger trolls…
Dead Baby Jokes
thiss makes me laugh…haha
lol, these r awsome, some r a bit pedo though,…
whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a clif? catching it w/ a pitchfork!
to funny
yous are fuckin shan makin up these pathetic jokes up that arnt even funny. poor babies i duno how yous can write these! sick people!!!!!
learn how to type dumbass !! its called hooked on phonics lol
learn how to type. didnt understand a dam thing you said
it’s not like babies are dying cause of these jokes… stfu.
So a guy walks home, and goes “Honey where’s Junior?” Wife goes. “In the well where we left him the day we brought him home. Do you think it’s been long enough for a good soup?”
What’s best part of having sex with a 8 year old girl?
Pulling her hair back and prtending it’s a 8 year old boy.
What better than having sex with an 8 year old boy?
NOTHING!!!
U SIKK FUCKING DISCUSTING BASTARD U DESERVE TO GET UR DICKK CHOPPED THE FUCKK OFF GO FUCKK UR MOM U CHILD MOLESTER!!!!>=/
IMMA KALL THEE COPSS OON U JIMMY
LOVE:
LILI
&
ELLEANA
One day ur sick ass is goon to end up and prison and they will do with u what they want and I hope they fuck u with a telephone pole u sick mother fucker
Pedophile alert. >.>
people talk so much shit about babies and im all in it for the laughs but that joke was fucked up.
one time i was walking down the street with my friends and a 5 year old kid stuck his tonge out at me and we syuck our tonges out at her and the mom started hitting us with her purse while the kid was laghing like hell!!!
They r just jokes and u were all warned. I think it’s funny as hell but some r kinda sick pedo jokes.
How do u make a dead baby float?
Root beer, ice cream and a dead baby
What’s 12 inches long and makes women scream?
A stillborn
Wow, this is just plain wrong! All you people are sick freaks and god forbid you ever have any babies.
Hay these are jokes it is not like we are going to really through a babie into a wall you dumb fucking people whoever likes these joke you are cool with me if you don’t like them then why did you click on the page dumb fucks if you don’t like it stay the fuck off of it.
First of all i love your name Hategaypeople123
and second you are totally right
Oh and Jimmy you are one funny sick mother fucker hahahaha
I mean we were warn about the graphicness, but some people are taking it a step further than wat it needs to be. But I’m not really bitchin though.
Not a pedo but whats the difference between a baby and a sandwich? i dont fuck a sandwich before i eat it.
what do you do when ur baby is on fire? u throw it out the window
LOL these are fucking brutal but hilarious… speaking of dead babies… what’s the difference between a lamborghini and a burlap sack full of dead babies?… i don’t have a lamborghini sitting in my garage
They are just jokes people! Relax
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