You might be a redneck family if any of your children were conceived under a stop light.

You might be a redneck family if any of your honeymoon plans involve a deer camp.

You might be a redneck family if anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container.

You might be a redneck family if during the wedding ceremony the minister said, “Do you, DeWayne, take Connie to be your old lady?”

You might be a redneck family if fine dining is the Waffle House.

You might be a redneck family if for your first anniversary You take your wife to dinner at the Wal-mart snack bar.

You might be a redneck family if Friday night is “sneak into the drive-in night”.

You might be a redneck family if hot dogs and pork-n-beans are your favorite Sunday night dinner.

You might be a redneck family if in preparation for your upcoming wedding, your register your Tupperware pattern.

You might be a redneck family if on cold nights, your dog sleeps on the bed and your wife doesn’t.

You might be a redneck family if people come to your door mistakenly thinking You have an auto salvage business.

You might be a redneck family if PMS stands for “Parent Medical System.”

You might be a redneck family if somebody says, “HO DOWN” and your wife falls to the ground!!

You might be a redneck family if someone asks, “Where’s your bowling bag?” and You answer, “She’s at home with the kids.”

You might be a redneck family if stealing road signs is a family outing.

You might be a redneck family if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck family if the bouquet at your wedding was stolen from a cemetery.

You might be a redneck family if the church social committee is afraid to meet at your house.

You might be a redneck family if the emergency room nurse knows everyone in your family by name.

You might be a redneck family if the figures on your wedding cake wore overalls.

You might be a redneck family if the first question your mother asks upon checking into the motel is, “Where’s the nearest liquor store?”

You might be a redneck family if the fountain at your wedding spewed beer instead of champagne.

You might be a redneck family if the gazebo in your yard is bigger than your trailer.