Really Funny Stuff

One Liner Black Joke 1
Why do police dogs lick their balls?
To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.

One Liner Black Joke 2
What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A rotten banana.

One Liner Black Joke 3
What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

One Liner Black Joke 4
Have you ever seen a black person on the Jetsons?
NO. Looks like a good future doesn’t it?

One Liner Black Joke 5
What do u call a black priest?
Holy shit.

The Yankee tourist described glowingly the statue of a beautiful woman which he had seen in an art museum abroad.

“And the way she stood, so up and coming, was grand. But,” he added, with a tone of disgust, “those foreigners don’t know how to spell. The name of the statue was Posish’—and it was some posish, believe me! and the dumb fools spelt it—’Psyche!’”

Note: posish is used to refer to one’s favorite position during sexual intercourse.

The distinguished actor had a large photograph of Wordsworth prominently displayed in his dressing-room. A friend regarded the picture with some surprise, and remarked:

“I see you are an admirer of Wordsworth.”

“Who’s Wordsworth?” demanded the actor.

“Why, that’s his picture,” was the answer, as the friend pointed. “That’s Wordsworth, the poet.”

The actor regarded the photograph with a new interest.

“Is that old file a poet?” he exclaimed in astonishment. “I got him for a study in wrinkles.”

The cross-eyed man at the ball bowed with courtly grace, and said:

“May I have the pleasure of this dance?”

Two wallflowers answered as with one voice:

“With pleasure.”

Little Willie came home in a sad state. He had a black eye and numerous scratches and contusions, and his clothes were a sight. His mother was horrified at the spectacle presented by her darling son who had clearly been fighting. There were tears in her eyes as she addressed him rebukingly:

“Oh, Willie, Willie! How often have I told you not to play with that naughty Peck boy!”

Little Willie regarded his mother with an expression of deepest disgust.

“Say, ma,” he objected, “do I look as if I had been playing with anybody?”

The woman confessed to her crony:

“I’m growing old, and I know it. Nowadays, the policeman never takes me by the arm when he escorts me through the traffic.”

The Scotchman who ran a livery was asked by a tourist as to how many the carryall would hold.

“Fower generally,” was the answer. “Likely sax, if they’re weel aquaint.”

The professor, who was famous for the wool-gathering of his wits, returned home, and had his ring at the door answered by a new maid. The girl looked at him inquiringly:

“Um—ah—is Professor Johnson at home?” he asked, naming himself.

“No, sir,” the maid replied, “but he is expected any moment now.”

The professor turned away, the girl closed the door. Then the poor man sat down on the steps to wait for himself.

The absentminded inventor perfected a parachute device. He was taken up in a balloon to make a test of the apparatus. Arrived at a height of a thousand feet, he climbed over the edge of the basket, and dropped out. He had fallen two hundred yards when he remarked to himself, in a tone of deep regret:

“Dear me! I’ve gone and forgotten my umbrella.”

You might be a redneck family if any of your children were conceived under a stop light.

You might be a redneck family if any of your honeymoon plans involve a deer camp.

You might be a redneck family if anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container.

You might be a redneck family if during the wedding ceremony the minister said, “Do you, DeWayne, take Connie to be your old lady?”

You might be a redneck family if fine dining is the Waffle House.

You might be a redneck family if for your first anniversary You take your wife to dinner at the Wal-mart snack bar.