Funny Jokes

“Yes, ma’am,” the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, “I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg.” “Merciful providence!” his hearer gasped. “And what did you do?” “Let ‘im ‘ave the leg, o’ course, ma’am. I never argues with sharks.”

Continue Reading Shark Attack Joke

The young man applied to the manager of the entertainment museum for employment as a freak, and the following dialogue occurred: “Who are you?” “I am Enoch, the egg king.” “What is your specialty?” “I eat three dozen hen’s eggs, two dozen duck eggs, and one dozen goose eggs, at a single setting.” “Do you [...]

Continue Reading Employment as a Freak Joke

The professor, who was famous for the wool-gathering of his wits, returned home, and had his ring at the door answered by a new maid. The girl looked at him inquiringly: “Um—ah—is Professor Johnson at home?” he asked, naming himself. “No, sir,” the maid replied, “but he is expected any moment now.” The professor turned [...]

Continue Reading Professor at Home Joke

SYMPTOM FAULT ACTION Feet cold and wet. Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. Feet warm and wet. Improper bladder control. Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training. Funny Beer Drinking Joke Submitted by Dave the Wave

Continue Reading Funny Beer Drinking Joke

Father: “Well, son, you certainly made a fool of yourself! That girlfriend of yours robbed you of every cent you had.” Son: “Well, dad, you have to hand it to me for picking them clever.”

Continue Reading Clever Girlfriend Joke

Racist Nigger Joke 1 How do you get a nigger out of the tree? You cut the rope. Racist Nigger Joke 2 What are 3 things you can not give a nigger? A black eye, a fat lip and an education. Racist Nigger Joke 3 What do you call a nigger going down a water [...]

Continue Reading Racist Nigger Jokes

Little Willie came home in a sad state. He had a black eye and numerous scratches and contusions, and his clothes were a sight. His mother was horrified at the spectacle presented by her darling son who had clearly been fighting. There were tears in her eyes as she addressed him rebukingly: “Oh, Willie, Willie! [...]

Continue Reading Play Fighting Joke

The distinguished actor had a large photograph of Wordsworth prominently displayed in his dressing-room. A friend regarded the picture with some surprise, and remarked: “I see you are an admirer of Wordsworth.” “Who’s Wordsworth?” demanded the actor. “Why, that’s his picture,” was the answer, as the friend pointed. “That’s Wordsworth, the poet.” The actor regarded [...]

Continue Reading The Poet Wordsworth Joke

The mother called in vain for her young son. Then she searched the ground floor, the first story, the second, and the attic—all in vain. Finally, she climbed to the trap door in the roof, pushed it open, and cried: “John Henry, are you out there?” An answer came clearly: “No, mother. Have you looked [...]

Continue Reading A Lost Son Joke

The clergyman, absorbed in thinking out a sermon, rounded a turn in the path and bumped into a cow. He swept off his hat with a flourish, exclaiming: “I beg your pardon, madam.” Then he observed his error, and was greatly chagrined. Soon, however, again engaged with thoughts of the sermon, he collided with a [...]

Continue Reading Clergyman and the Cow Joke